Lee Nelson Compassionate Colleague Award: Nicole Graff
For Nicole Graff, supervisor of the Bellwood Transitional Age Program (TAP), receiving the Lee Nelson Compassionate Colleague Award has special meaning. Not only had Graff worked with Lee Nelson prior to his retirement in 2019, but she was nominated for the award that bears his name by another colleague whose life was changed because of Graff’s kindness and concern.
Nelson, who was the first recipient of the award which bears his name, presented the award to Graff in person. She credits him with teaching her to build a therapeutic alliance before trying to help someone. He advised having a male and female on a team to give perspective when dealing with a person served.
“He’s so special to me,” said Graff, who admitted that she was “completely shocked” to see a Pittsburgh Mercy team at Bellwood to present her with the award.
Graff joined Pittsburgh Mercy 23 years ago when she was hired by Doritta Pelc to work in the Supportive Housing program (today, Community Supportive Housing). After changing jobs and working for five years in Service Coordination, she moved on to her present position as Bellwood TAP supervisor in October 2006.
“I really wanted to work with transition age (18-25 years of age), where you can guide them into good decisions and help them grow,” Graff says. “You can really make a difference with that age group. Teaching life skills is the main goal.”
Graff has made a difference with her staff members, too. One of those colleagues is Mya Wade, who was the lead counselor at Bellwood TAP from 2015 to 2021. Wade currently works as a housing case manager with Pittsburgh Mercy’s Operation Safety Net.
Wade says Graff stands out in “an extraordinary way.”
“From the day that I interviewed, my new supervisor, Nicole Graff, was incredible,” Wade wrote. “She exuded such a kind and gentle energy. Her warmth and enthusiasm about having me on the team gave me great confidence that I could be a good team lead.
After the diagnosis, Graff set up weekly supervisions to help Wade stay on task.
“We jokingly called it ‘Primary Time’ since it was as if I was now the ‘person served’ and I looked to her as my counselor,” Wade continued. “I often had to readjust my approach to certain tasks until I found a regimen that worked for me. All the while, she never made me feel inadequate. I felt safe to try, safe to fail, and safe to start all over if I needed to. I felt safe being my authentic self.”
Several months after her ADHD diagnosis, one of Wade’s children had a traumatic experience at the same time Wade was going through a divorce. The family ended up homeless.
“I felt as if I was spiraling out of control,” Wade continued. “(Nicole) took the initiative to meet with my teammates and made arrangements for all but one of my tasks to be divided among them. My team, under Nicole’s leadership, worked tirelessly to support me and build me up during the most difficult time in my life. Not only did she assist me and other colleagues with our personal challenges, she always made sure that our team had the essential skills and training to give our best selves to those we served every day.”
After the diagnosis, Graff set up weekly supervisions to help Wade stay on task.
“We jokingly called it ‘Primary Time’ since it was as if I was now the ‘person served’ and I looked to her as my counselor,” Wade continued. “I often had to readjust my approach to certain tasks until I found a regimen that worked for me. All the while, she never made me feel inadequate. I felt safe to try, safe to fail, and safe to start all over if I needed to. I felt safe being my authentic self.”
Several months after her ADHD diagnosis, one of Wade’s children had a traumatic experience at the same time Wade was going through a divorce. The family ended up homeless.
“I felt as if I was spiraling out of control,” Wade continued. “(Nicole) took the initiative to meet with my teammates and made arrangements for all but one of my tasks to be divided among them. My team, under Nicole’s leadership, worked tirelessly to support me and build me up during the most difficult time in my life. Not only did she assist me and other colleagues with our personal challenges, she always made sure that our team had the essential skills and training to give our best selves to those we served every day.”
Graff fought for her team to have regular training from a behavioral specialist from Wesley Family Services who worked with children and young adults on the spectrum. She said that every resident on the autism spectrum is different. Currently, four out of the 10 residents are on the spectrum.
“This training was like a life vest, as it allowed us to be fully equipped as care providers and helped to provide appropriate intervention and support to our young adults,” Wade said.
Wade said Graff’s acts of compassion of kindness are too numerous to count.
“Nicole and I still meet monthly for lunch and have our ‘Primary Time,’ as it were,” Wade said. “She still takes care of me by bringing clothing donations for my children and frequently checks in on the physical and emotional welfare of my family. As a single mother of four children, I have never felt more loved and valued by a colleague in my entire working career.”
“She embodies the mission of Pittsburgh Mercy and its core values in their truest form,” Ward added. “May we all learn from her love, her leadership, and her compassion as we strive to do our best work every day!”
